Today's Pearl: It's a process...
January 19th 2020
Pearl making is a process, not something that always just happens overnight. The bigger the pearl, the more intense the process.
As you can see, I've missed writing Jan 17th-18th. Just like new years resolutions, and sometimes big epiphanies, the inspiration can flow, but the implementation isn't always consistent and the initial enthusiasm can fade. That's when the real evolution begins and we get to make a decision to keep moving forward, recommit to our plans and goals.
If I didn't have a vision for what this blog holds, I would have given up. I'm here now writing with the intention of shifting the feelings of inadequacy that cultivate defeat. My focus is now shifting from how I missed my commitment, on what I need to recommit. Just what the doctor ordered, some wise words from Les Brown brought some spark back into my mind.
It's not over until I win ~ Les Brown
As I sit today to write I have to be really honest with myself. I'm not always capable of turning a complaint into a pearl every day. Over the last couple days, I've been reflecting on some really intense feelings of doubt and insecurity, and writing a pearl about how it turned around would be inauthentic, since it still feels gritty and achy. I also think this is part of the process of evolving as a leader.
The current complaint I now have is about really being able to powerfully care for myself out of an authentic desire to be of service and to allow life to move through me as a conduit of love and healing.
This complaint was triggered as I remembered that I was on a podcast that aired in October and I totally forgot about it, and thought it never got published. Well it did, and it was my lack of attention to my dreams, to those who I want to serve AND more importantly the example I want to be in this world that caused me to stop caring about putting myself out there more and more.
I had slipped back into "victim" mode. I slipped into a space of wanting to escape my pain of insecurity. The sneaky thing about victim hood, is that it doesn't always look like being a victim of someone else's abuse. No one is abusing me. I fell victim to my own beliefs about myself and shut down. I know better than to blame my genes or my family for my own short comings, but I still can fall prey when I don't take care of myself to allow the dominance of that inner critic to take the lead. OUCH. And nothing can stop it except taking the time and energy to shift my focus to self compassion from self condemnation.
So for now, the beginning of the pearl is actually in the ability to FEEL something intense, even though it really is painful. I'd rather have a large and beautiful pearl, than a ton of little tiny ones. No one can argue that a large pearl is more valuable than a tiny one. Patience is necessary to shape large pearls.
I picked up the book "The Power of Now" by Echarkdt Tolle and turned to a page about how when we experience pain with the presence of our consciousness, it can be transformed into presence. This message began to expand my thinking to seek out more motivational material. So I began watching Les Brown on Youtube. Even a small shift like watching or reading something inspirational can percolate pearl processing.
I'm awaiting the pearl and knowing that when I bring the power of my consciousness to when I'm experiencing pain, more presence will be born for me to serve. When I choose to distract or numb out, I get a little relief, but the pain not the pearl comes back. Time to practice what I preach and process more pearls.
You can check out my interview HERE :)
xoxoxo
Rebecca
Pearl making is a process, not something that always just happens overnight. The bigger the pearl, the more intense the process.
As you can see, I've missed writing Jan 17th-18th. Just like new years resolutions, and sometimes big epiphanies, the inspiration can flow, but the implementation isn't always consistent and the initial enthusiasm can fade. That's when the real evolution begins and we get to make a decision to keep moving forward, recommit to our plans and goals.
If I didn't have a vision for what this blog holds, I would have given up. I'm here now writing with the intention of shifting the feelings of inadequacy that cultivate defeat. My focus is now shifting from how I missed my commitment, on what I need to recommit. Just what the doctor ordered, some wise words from Les Brown brought some spark back into my mind.
It's not over until I win ~ Les Brown
As I sit today to write I have to be really honest with myself. I'm not always capable of turning a complaint into a pearl every day. Over the last couple days, I've been reflecting on some really intense feelings of doubt and insecurity, and writing a pearl about how it turned around would be inauthentic, since it still feels gritty and achy. I also think this is part of the process of evolving as a leader.
The current complaint I now have is about really being able to powerfully care for myself out of an authentic desire to be of service and to allow life to move through me as a conduit of love and healing.
This complaint was triggered as I remembered that I was on a podcast that aired in October and I totally forgot about it, and thought it never got published. Well it did, and it was my lack of attention to my dreams, to those who I want to serve AND more importantly the example I want to be in this world that caused me to stop caring about putting myself out there more and more.
I had slipped back into "victim" mode. I slipped into a space of wanting to escape my pain of insecurity. The sneaky thing about victim hood, is that it doesn't always look like being a victim of someone else's abuse. No one is abusing me. I fell victim to my own beliefs about myself and shut down. I know better than to blame my genes or my family for my own short comings, but I still can fall prey when I don't take care of myself to allow the dominance of that inner critic to take the lead. OUCH. And nothing can stop it except taking the time and energy to shift my focus to self compassion from self condemnation.
So for now, the beginning of the pearl is actually in the ability to FEEL something intense, even though it really is painful. I'd rather have a large and beautiful pearl, than a ton of little tiny ones. No one can argue that a large pearl is more valuable than a tiny one. Patience is necessary to shape large pearls.
I picked up the book "The Power of Now" by Echarkdt Tolle and turned to a page about how when we experience pain with the presence of our consciousness, it can be transformed into presence. This message began to expand my thinking to seek out more motivational material. So I began watching Les Brown on Youtube. Even a small shift like watching or reading something inspirational can percolate pearl processing.
I'm awaiting the pearl and knowing that when I bring the power of my consciousness to when I'm experiencing pain, more presence will be born for me to serve. When I choose to distract or numb out, I get a little relief, but the pain not the pearl comes back. Time to practice what I preach and process more pearls.
You can check out my interview HERE :)
xoxoxo
Rebecca
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I would love to read your comments and enjoy your compliments or complaints. Whatever you share, I will read. xoxo